Would You Like To Change Places With Another Person ? What is that supposed to mean ?
After Friday’s post about the sneaky fear of success, we’re not dealing with my emotions today.
Today we’re dealing with other people’s emotions because this one isn’t my issue.
But I need to deal with these emotions because I occasionally run into folks who have an issue with that.
If they have an issue with that, then they’re preventing themselves from being successful. And if they want to join my team or are already on my team, I should know about it.
Let’s repeat the question that is already contained in the title of this post: Would you like to change places with another person ?
Think and feel a minute.
Your honest answer ? Yes or no ?
Clear no ? If the answer is a clear and honest “no”, congratulations. You can stop reading. Or you might as well go ahead, perhaps it helps you with getting to know other people better.
Reluctant no ? Reluctant yes ? Clear yes ?
Let’s pose the question again: Would You Like To Change Places With Another Person ? Completely.
Completely means completely, it doesn’t mean as famous as Madonna, as rich as Bill Gates and as handsome as James Bond and having the quiet life you might have with your loved ones.
Do you get the big picture ?
How often do we pick one or two visible positive aspects of someone else’s life, whom we hardly know and complain about our shortcomings ?
If I only had had rich parents like…
If I only had had parents that sent me to college or university like…
If I only made the money person xyz makes without any effort…
If I only were as lucky as…
I wish I were like you…
Sounds familiar ?
There’s nothing wrong with having these emotions.
There’s only something wrong with focusing on one or two positive aspects another person has without seeing or without wanting to see the whole big picture.
Let’s take an extreme example. Let’s take Madonna. She’s extremely successful in her businesses, she’s famous and she is rich – and her mother died of cancer when she was five years old.
Would you like to change places with Madonna completely, that means take her fame, her success, her money – and her childhood ?
I wouldn’t.
So ask yourself next time such feelings arise in yourself: Do I get the complete picture ? Would I really want to change places with another person ? That means, change parents, childhood, friends, siblings etc. – all that ?
Even in my most miserable circumstances, I was always glad to be in my shoes and in nobody else’s.
I would say that’s an asset because I take responsibility of my life and its good and bad circumstances.
We never know which price the other guy had to pay and if he or she paid it voluntarily or not.
Madonna paid a price without being asked.
So how can we even remotely wish to change places with another person ?
We’re only diverting focus from ourselves to someone else and denying responsibility and delegating our power.
That’s how we’re preventing ourselves from being successful.
Of course, you can admire someone else’s strengths and learn from them.
You can and should learn from Madonna’s will power, absolutely.
You can and should learn from another network marketer’s successes – and failures.
Always be aware that you never will be able to see the complete picture, the prices that were required to pay and the failures that were to endure.
And always be grateful to be in your shoes. “You are perfect just who you are.” (Michael Dlouhy, author of “Success in 10 steps“)
Now make the best of it.
Please stay tuned for my post about a great way to set ourselves up for failure and quitting: “We can do anything !”
What is your opinion ?
I always love your feedback, so please leave me a comment down below with questions, thoughts, or feedback.
And (yes, here’s my call to action) please share this post with your Twitter and Facebook friends by clicking on the share buttons below. I appreciate you telling others.
To a prosperous life,
Oliver Tausend
+49 1512 9125216 office Germany & rest of the world (anytime)
+1 201 984 5664 office North America (anytime)
Skype ID: guernsey2016 (anytime)
wordpress@olivertausend.com
Download “Success in 10 steps”, my mentor’s free e MLM ebook
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Twitter: MavisNong
says:
Another great post, Oliver! And my answer is “NO”! I’m happy with who I am and what I am all about.
And yes, it’s a good thing to learn from others. Learn from those who have what you want. Don’t wish you were them… You don’t know their circumstances and what they have had to put up with before they attain success.
Focus on the necessary steps that you need to take to get there and be ready to handle any challenges and obstacles along the way.
Thanks for sharing your insights.
All the best,
Mavis Nong
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 22:48
Hi Mavis,
thanks for your comment. I’m pretty sure that your healthy attitude towards this subject will pay off, perhaps it has already done so, then it’s even better.
And it’s true: If someone is ahead of you, chances are this person started a little bit sooner or didn’t get side tracked while travelling on his or her road.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by The Unified Tribe, Oliver Tausend. Oliver Tausend said: The Anatomy Of Quitting – Would You Like To Change Places With Another Person ? | Oliver Tausend's Blog http://bit.ly/9wu5OS [...]
Hello Oliver,
This is an interesting topic that I couldn’t help but comment. For my part, the answer would always be a ‘No’. I’m proud of who I am, and what I’ve been through whether good or bad. My whole life shapes me as who I am today, and without it I’m nothing.
Yes, everybody pays their price to be who or what they are today. We can’t exactly say ‘you get what you see’ since we don’t exactly know how they run their life or how many obstacles they have been through with. What we can learn from is their determination in succeeding and move on with their life. The more we appreciate our own life, the more easier we are to deal with any obstacles along the way.
“You are perfect just who you are.” – Michael Dlouhy is so true
- Hazel
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 19:39
Hi Hazel,
thanks for stopping and your initial comment on my blog. Great that you prefer being yourself, in good times and in bad times.
That’s the key: We never see – or don’t want to see, or even can’t see – the complete picture when it comes to other people’s lives. So we’d better stop there and accept ourselves just who we are and take our personal development step by step from there.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver,
There have only been a few moments in my life when I felt like changing places with someone, the last instance of which was many years ago. This was before I realized the fact that we control our destiny. No need to be some one else when you can be yourself.
I am happy being me and taking my journey. Those who have it all gave up a lot. I have learned this during my life, in my own person.
Thanks for sharing your always interesting personal development insight.
Ryan Biddulph
Ryan Biddulph recently posted..How To Advertise Your Network Marketing Opportunity On Social Networks
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 19:36
Hi Ryan,
amazing that we might get side-tracked one or more times in our lives, but in most instances get back on track.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Twitter: AnaTrafficCafe
says:
I definitely prefer myself – no matter what:). For better or for worse?
I do understand though that so many people out there might sometimes wish they just did not exist.
I can’t imagine how sad that must be; however, your observations in the post, Oliver, might definitely make them think twice and hopefully realize that things just might not be too bad.
As always, enjoyed the post, Oliver.
Ana Hoffman
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 19:34
Hi Ana,
great comment. You added at least two important aspects to my mindset:
1. I prefer my myself – no matter what – for better or for worse. For worse, that’s a decisive element. Even if neighbour’s grass were greener, it’s important to prefer oneself.
2. Wishing to be like someone else or even wanting to change places with someone else could be equivalent to wishing to just not exist. That is tough, but seems to be true.
That is definitely sad.
Thanks for stopping by and come back soon !
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
An absolutely emphatic NO!
I have been through the rough & the good – but I can look in the mirror & honestly say that I’m satisfied with the way I’ve done things.
I don’t envy others for what they have, I believe the grass in NEVER greener on the other side. My life is way too interesting for me to waste on other things.
As always, a great post Oliver, keep them coming.
Michael
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 19:31
Hi Michael,
thanks for your appreciative comment. Not being envious is crucial for longterm success, or the other way round: Being envious is a sure way to lose, whatever it may be.
Congratulations !
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Oliver,
I spent most of my life wanting to change places with others I saw who had what I wanted. It never occurred to me I could be happy for them and then figure out how to create what they had in my own life…or something like it. I always BELIEVED that there was a club, a circle, and I just wasn’t allowed to join. But just like you say, this all changed when I started to realize limiting beliefs and get rid of them. Eventually I discovered the beliefs buried deep in my subconscious that were causing me to feel like I was left out of the circle. Now I am creating the things I want and need and accepting everything in my life as just right and I feel empowered. i also feel like I am gratefull for feeling that way for so many years because I now open that circle and hold out my hand to others who believe they can’t be a “member of the club.” Everyone is welcome! We are all powerful beings who have the ability right inside to create what we see in others that we would like to have or experience.
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 19:29
Hi Rebecca,
thanks for sharing your experiences and your feelings. And congratulations for being on the right track to success and fulfillment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver,
I think at certain times I have been guilty of not necessarily being someone else, but having what they have.
We tend to forget that we all have problems.
You don’t really know how people are feeling inside, and if they feel as bad as I do sometimes, then we have something in common which I think unites us all.
Even Madonna LOL.
I saw a documentary about her when she was in NY putting on a concert. She kept asking if her brother had shown up at the hotel to come see her. She finally went to bed. He didn’t come. It was quite sad.
Thanks for the thought provoking post.
Neil
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 22:45
Hi Neil,
thanks for your initial comment on my blog. That is true: We all have our challenges. I read the book Madonna’s brother Christopher wrote about the relationship between him and his sister, it is inspiring yet also thought provoking, even if it may be “coloured” by Christopher’s perception.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Twitter: prfuller
says:
Very interesting post Oliver
I think there has been a time or two I have fantasized what it would be like to be someone else, like a famous football player or actor.
But you are so right about the complete picture. Would you give up everything to switch places, and the answer would be “no”
Thanks Oliver for another thought provoking post.
Peter Fuller MBA recently posted..Does your Retirement Plan include Jumping out of a Window
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 23:15
Hi Peter,
thanks for stopping by. The big picture is something we usually don’t want to see.
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
Oliver
[Reply]
Oliver to this I would have to say no. I heard an interesting theory one time that is very applicable here.
Someone was posed the question to think of all 6 billion peoples lives on this planet as a deck of cards.
Your life represented a card and you could trade it in would you?
Again I would have to say no at least the card I have been dealt is something I am accustomed to and I know what I need to do to improve it.
Very nice post my friend.
Steve Shoemaker
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 23:47
Hi Steve,
great to say “no” this question, congratulations
I like the word picture with the cards. So we come to realize that we ‘ve got amazing talents and great potential to build upon. Who knows what we would get ?
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
Oliver
[Reply]
Oliver,
This post was great! This is my first time visiting your blog and I’m sitting here wondering why in the world this is my first time
I think that so many people constantly compare themselves to other people rather than being grateful for their own marvelous gifts and talents they have been blessed with. I can also say my answer is NO. I love who I am, who I am becoming, and the entire process of becoming. Great post – can’t wait to read the next one!
Shannon Perry-Stiner recently posted..Outsourcing Strategy For Your Business
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 12:04
Hi Shannon,
comparing ourselves to others is certainly one cause of much disharmony in people’s live. You hit the nail on its head: We express our ingratitude for our own gifts and blessings by comparing ourselves to others.
Congratulations to saying “no” to this question – and of course welcome to my blog and thanks for initial visit and comment. Come back soon.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hey Oliver,
I have to admit, I said “No” to the question.
Why is it so many people have the “What if I” statements. This is one thing I always wonder. I’m sure the answer will vary. I do think a part of it comes down to being a victim versus a victor.
Thanks for sharing this post. Have a great day.
Jerome Ratliff
Jerome Ratliff recently posted..How I Viciously Got Attacked at the Zoo
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 12:02
Hi Jerome,
well, admitting that is certainly a good thing, isn’t it ?
You are right, asking “What if…” is part of a victim mentality.
Thanks for your comment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
I love your posts Oliver. They are challenging and thought provoking and they keep getting better!
I have had big challenges in my life and sometimes, at the time, I wondered what it might have been like to have it different. But in the end I would not have changed places with anyone or had things different. The toughest experiences have taught me the most.
all the best
Charlie Holles
Charlie Holles recently posted..Goal Setting – should you aim for the stars
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 12:00
Hi Charlie,
thanks for your appeciative comment. Glad you can relate to what I have to say
That’s true, I also learned a lot from tough experiences, on the other hand I took a decision some day that I took the lesson, I accepted it – and that turned around a lot in my life to the better.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
One thing people have to remember is that we all go through things in our life for a reason. It shapes and molds us into the people we are intended to become. I would not trade my life for anyone else’s. I love myself and who I am. Even if you had a rough childhood..if you are healthy enough to accept and be thankful for your life experiences because it is who you are and you know you can survive anything!
Oh by the way my answer is heck NO!
Thanks for sharing
Networking with Carl and Danielle recently posted..Blogging For Traffic
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 11:58
Hi Carl and Danielle,
congratulations to your clear answer ! Thanks for reminding us that everything happens for a reason – we would deny this reason if we wished to be somebody else. That would only cause disharmony.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Oliver,
Very thought provoking post my friend.
My answer is “no” because I always say:
If you could walk in someone else’s shoes for one day and actually
experience what they experience, see what they see, hear what they
hear, you would probably wonder what planet they are from
You will realize how different their world is from yours.
But….
I’ll bet a million dollars you would never be so quick to judge again.
Thats how I see it.
Thanks for sharing your insights with this post Oliver.
Stay growing,
Kevin Tyler Smith
Promethean Life
Kevin Tyler Smith recently posted..How To Consciously Produce An Insanely Great Day…Everyday
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 11:56
Hi Kevin,
thanks for your comment. I can completely relate to the way you see it. There are some nuggets in your comment:
–> You will realize how different their world is from yours.
–> I’ll bet a million dollars you would never be so quick to judge again.
Awesome !
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver,
Interesting post. It makes me so glad that I’m 100% happy with who I am.
Now as far as where I’m at, I’m happy with that because I’m still moving forward and there is so much more to come.
I think people become unhappy when they stop. When they sit down and just don’t know how to make the situation better.
My past is full of mistakes and horror stories, which I’m sure most people can relate to in some way. But it’s past and I see a very bright future.
Thanks for this one!
Susanna
Susanna Hess recently posted..2 Business Mistakes- 99 Of People Make One – Which One Do YOU Make
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 11:54
Hi Susanna,
thanks for your comment and sharing some insights. Well, my past is filled with both successes and failures. The trouble is that we allow our failures to overshadow our successes – what spoils our successes and prevents us from learning from our failures.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver,
You are so right. There is a good reason why ENVY was one of the 7 deadly sins. It poisons your life and blinds you to the real humanity in others and in yourself. I especially liked the line, “There’s only something wrong with focusing on one or two positive aspects another person has without seeing or without wanting to see the whole big picture.” We each have burdens to bear, some people just bear them with more dignity than others. I would rather remember that we each have gifts, and be grateful for those I have been given. Thanks for a thought-provoking post!
Regards,
Laurie
Laurie recently posted..Is it really better to give than to receive
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 21:59
Hi Laurie,
thanks for your initial comment on my blog – a thoughtful one also. Great that you are pointing out our individual gifts we all have. Do we use them gratefully and with dignity ?
Come back soon and take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hey Oliver,
Great article. Long ago, even before network marketing, I’ve learnt to accept me as me and not to use other people as excuses not to be what I can be.
I like ‘Of course, you can admire someone else’s strengths and learn from them’. That is absolutely true.
Thanks for sharing!
~~~
Tosin
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 21:44
Hi Tosin,
thanks for your initial comment on my blog. I’m glad you liked what I had to say…
Come back soon and take care
Cheers
Oliver
[Reply]
Oliver, what an awesome post! It is so easy to want to be in someone else’s shoes. We often take for granted how wonderful our own life is. Thanks for a great reminder!
Staci
Staci Gauny recently posted..Online Network Marketing Training- Is It For You
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 30th, 2010 at 17:47
Hi Staci,
thanks for your initial comment on my blog. I’m glad you could relate to what I had to say.
Come back soon and take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Great post Oliver,
So many sell themselves short by wanting or wishing to be in others shoes. But exactly as you point out, you don’t know the cost that person had to pay and if you did, you probably wouldn’t have paid it yourself.
There is greatness in all of us. It just has to be discovered and nurtured. Nobody can beat you at being you. BE a priceless original and not a cheap copy!
Fontella Williams recently posted..How To Send an Audio Tweet
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
July 30th, 2010 at 22:44
Hi Fontella,
thanks for your comment.
Amazing aspect:”BE a priceless original and not a cheap copy!” I posted that on social media as quote, with your name of course.
Come back soon and take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Twitter: marcus_baker
says:
Hi Oliver,
I have to also say NO to this question. I am very happy with who I am. Frankly when one makes an effort to see all that you are rather than what you are not, then there is no space for looking towards others because one is occupied with celebrating one’s own magnificence. I think a lot of this has to do with what one believes about your value. Thanks for the great read.
~Marcus
Marcus Baker recently posted..Network Marketing Business Opportunity Top 100
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 19:39
Hi Marcus,
my personal development coach used to say:”Only a fool complains about the things he doesn’t have. A wise man is grateful for what he has.”
I’m glad you could relate to this subject.
Thanks for your comment and take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Oliver, I loved this and it made me cry with a smile on my face.
My husband’s grandpa was such a sweet man and always reminded us how lucky we were. I can still hear his voice on the other end of the phone saying, “Hi Sweetheart. How are things in Illinois?” I vividly remember telling him one evening that a job my husband was starting the next week had just fallen through, and since he’d already left his last job, we didn’t know what we were going to do. We were newlyweds (I was 20) still in college, in debt from school loans and a new car, and I was so scared about what we were going to do. I’ll never forget Grandpa saying that if everyone were to throw all their problems into a great big pile and we were allowed to pick out the ones we’d want, we’d always pick our own.
If you were to have asked me that night if I wanted to trade places with someone, my response would have been a definite, yes. But I would have been wrong, it turned out that my husband was offered a different job that next week, with better pay and benefits. He’s been able to work his way up the ladder and is running the company now.
What you said about taking responsibility for what your life both good and bad is so important. Being responsible instead of going into “victim mode” is the secret to making the most of every situation we find ourselves in.
Thanks for this post. It brought to my mind a forgotten but sweet memory of a defining moment in my life!
Heather
Heather C Stephens recently posted..Is Blog Commenting an Ineffective Waste of Time Regarding SEO
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 19:26
HI Heather,
amazing comment, thanks for sharing your insights. Your husband’s grandpa is definitely a wise man. I like the analogy with the great pig pile and the expression “victim mode”. I have the latter sometimes
At least I know that I am “victim” of my own decisions.
Comments like yours prove it to me that I’m on track with my blogging, yeah, this morning it was the very first thing I read and it already made my day.
Have a blessed weekend and take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver!
Very interesting subject – its true, behind every glow there was much of polishing to do…
I would never take places with someone else! I know , even now there are some people who would like to be in my shoes, but only God knows through what hell I had to go to reach where I am and where I will be.. So there we come to our mission as a leaders in NM business.. We are trying to help people walk towards success with comfortable shoes, even more comfortable than ours , by showing them to learn on our mistakes and giving them shortcuts..
“You are perfect just who you are” – great, great quote!
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
August 6th, 2010 at 22:20
Hi Milena,
thanks for your thoughtful comment. I’m glad you were able to relate to it.
Take care and have a blessed weekend
Oliver
[Reply]
[...] everybody, just an additional post in this successful series (last part “Would you like to change places with another person ?”). Who hasn’t heard this yet: “You can do [...]
Well said Oliver!
I have to admit that I catch myself saying I wish I was the other person. But you’re right, we don’t get the full, complete story behind someone we admire. There may be something that I wouldn’t want to go through in order to be them. Thanks for sharing this valuable post!
Take Care
Sherman
Sherman Smith recently posted..Leverage Will Bring You…
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 23:56
Hi Sherman,
nearly everybody is guilty of that sometimes. It helps to remind oneself that everybody paid some price for it. Chances are it’s a price we wouldn’t be willing to pay, oftentimes for a good reason.
Thanks for your comment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Twitter: JymTarrant
says:
Wow Oliver,
That’s a powerful post. Glad I found it!
Wanting to be someone else, although natural in a way is completely ridiculous at the same time. It draws you away from your own gifts, your own power and your own unique take on life.
Wanting to become more like someone else can be very useful though. Finding people whom you admire, respect and who have achieved goals you aspire to makes sense because modeling their habits, actions and thought patterns will move you in the direction you want to go in.
What other gems do you have hidden in your archives I wonder?
Thanks,
Jym
Jym recently posted..How To Generate Internet Marketing Leads For Any MLM Home Business
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
December 9th, 2010 at 22:38
Hi Jym,
exactly: There’s nothing wrong with emulating someone or admiring certain qualities and learning from them.
Thanks for your kind comment and the cool question at the end of it…let’s see what I will dig out
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Even on my worst day, I love BEING ME. Wouldn’t want to be anyone else. I wasn’t always that way but I’ve learned that everyone has their own set of problems and you can’t run away from it/them. I LOVE Oprah, but even she has her own demons and I don’t want to deal with them.
To want to be someone else says that you are not enough, that somehow the creator/God made a mistake. The only mistake would be in our thinking that we can’t be everything that we want to be.
Fantastic post Oliver!
Golda Smith recently posted..Social Media Marketing Tip 30- Management of Your Social Media Time
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
December 9th, 2010 at 22:29
Hi Golda,
thanks for your comment. Glad you like my post. You name it: I don’t want to deal with other people’s demons no matter how successful they are. I’m busy enough with my own
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]