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Previous about the school system: The School System – Experiences Of An Entrepreneur With Dyslexia And Dyscalculia
In my previous post, I shared with you how German school system sorts kids at a very young age around 9/10 and “recommends” them to one of three different types of secondary schools. If you missed this post, please click on the link above to read this one first.
As our oldest daughter Muriel has a mild form of dyscalculia (which is actually dyslexia with numbers) and traditional forms of support such as practising more didn’t work, we needed to come up with other solutions.
In primary school, teachers are official allowed to lift kids’ grades if they have a condition like dyscalculia or dyslexia. This also holds true in secondary schools after primary school, but only for dyslexia and not for dyscalculia.
What we knew was that the different schools in our home town deal differently with dyscalculia, some follow the official guideline and don’t consider this condition at all, others know about that issue and take it into consideration.
Even different teachers at the same school deal differently with this problem. Sixes and sevens, covered up by the official lie that dyscalculia isn’t as researched as dyslexia.
I say lie because dyscalculia is recognized by WHO as disease.
Our problem was that we wanted to choose the right school for our daughter regardless of the type of the school – we didn’t care if it was a Gymnasium (High School, Grammar School, Lycée) or a Realschule (“Middle” school).
A Gymnasium with adequate support for her would be better than a Realschule without adequate support.
Our challenge was to sell that to her primary school teacher who recommends her for one of these three types of school. A recommendation that is more or less binding for parents, that means if a kid gets a recommendation for Realschule, she can’t visit Gymnasium without further official investigation. The latter didn’t sound very appealing to us because these investigations tend to confirm the teacher’s prejudices, as our daughter’s teacher freely admitted:”We hardly see any surprises there.”
Her teacher wanted to send her to Realschule because of this math issue whereas all other grades were good or even very good – and Muriel didn’t work too much, which is OK for us.
I hope I am able to point out our dilemma: You can only study in university if you have Abitur, which is the highest exam at Gymnasium. You simply have more choices. And we wanted the right school for her, regardless if it’s a Gymnasium or a Realschule. And her teacher wanted to recommend her for Realschule because she thought traditionally in school types and not in terms of the best school for our daughter regardless of the school type. I want to make note here that she was benevolent all the time, she simply thought differently than we did. Everybody has another interpretation of the Truth, right ?
Finally we needed to convince her teacher to recommend Muriel for Gymnasium in order for us to have free choice among all schools in our home town.
As I wrote in the earlier post, we found an institute in our home town that specializes on kids with dyscalculia. They’re building up mathematical and logical thinking from scratch and have a proven track record. Some kids even studied mathematics later (which isn’t our goal, by the way)
But: It takes time. They told us two years of weekly sessions of 60 minutes each.
That’s OK for us. The good thing was that we got a written assessment from this institute. They even recommended to suspend her from math classes because it confuses her more than it helps – but this is a no go.
This assessment opened us doors. We had several conversations with her primary school teacher. Our desire to have free choice and this written assessment helped us tremendously to actually get what we wanted.
She recommended her for Gymnasium once she had an explanation and could freely admit that traditional methods don’t help.
So what are the entrepreneurial lessons ?
1. You have to educate yourself, whatever it is that challenges you or that you want to achieve. You have to know the official rules to be able to stretch them.
2. You have to talk to relevant people, such as experts – the real ones and the official ones. It’s called networking.
3. You have to work together as a mastermind team, like I did together with my wife and our daughter. If she hadn’t been willing to attend these courses, we wouldn’t have been able to do anything for her.
4. You have to be truthful in your mastermind alliance: We disillusioned our daughter from the beginning that we are going to choose the best school for her which could
be a different one than her friends (there are 5 Gymnasiums alone in our home town which only has 85,000 inhabitants)
5. People (in this case teachers) tend to delegate responsibility to others (experts, parents etc.) to justify their decision. You have to make it as easy as possible for them to do
that, without them losing face and undermining their competence.
6. You have to be humble enough to recognize that you don’t make the final decision. Hm, what does that teach us for prospecting in our MLM businesses ?
Finally, I want to express our gratitude that her teachers was willing to visit with us and “jump over her own shadow”, as we say in Germany.
In the next post, I am going to share with you how we chose the “best” school for our daughter: The School System – Entrepreneurial Lessons And The Torture Of Choice
What is your opinion ?
I always love your reaction, so please leave me a comment down below with questions, thoughts, or feedback.
And (yes, here’s my call to action) please share this post with your Twitter and Facebook friends by clicking on the share buttons.
I appreciate you telling others.
To a prosperous life,
Oliver Tausend
+1 201 984 5664 office North America (anytime)
+49 1512 9125216 office Germany & other countries (anytime)
Skype ID: guernsey2016 (anytime)
wordpress@olivertausend.com
Get free generic training for your success in MLM and educate yourself
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Education and networking with experts definately seem the right approach. I wonder how we define an expert. I’d argue that we are all experts to a degree based on our own experiences.
Marty recently posted..Do you want some Motivation
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 25th, 2011 at 17:01
Hi Marty,
experts have an unfair advantage. So if we’re dealing with experts, we have to switch on our critical thinking. Experts are often brainwashed, aren’t they ?
Thanks for your comment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Oliver,
) I know the US, where I am, has a broken system but, wow, I do not like the fact that you can only further your education and career if you get into the highest level of secondary school. AND this is all determined by a teacher. Who made them judge and jury? If your school system is going to work like that at least have a *team* that determines the fate of a young child. A team with the parents, teachers, principals, and then professionals & doctors, if need be. I hope I have this wrong: What a teacher says/recommends is final? Or can a child test into a better learning establishment?
I rarely leave negative comments but I am not liking your school system.(Keep reading, it’s not all negative,
For you daughter. I wish her the best. As I was reading, I wondered if there was a way to call her learning issue “dyslexia” with special emphasis on dyscalculia? Do you see what I mean? She has a form of dyslexia, right? So she can get help under that title.
I hate to see children held back for any reason. If a child wants to do their best, then a child should be given the opportunity to be their best. Period.
I firmly believe every child has something special in them and should be brought out and blossomed.
Allie recently posted..7 Posts I Wish I Never Wrote
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 25th, 2011 at 21:11
Hi Allie,
I don’t think it’s a negative comment, not only because I don’t like our school system either.
It’s the early sorting process, for example. Everybody knows that it’s insane to sort kids at the age of 9 or 10. Our politicians switched off seven nuclear plants in Germany, overnight without legal foundation after the quake in Japan. But the early sorting process is untouchable at least in the conservative federal states even though we have earthquakes on a daily basis.
Let me add that a government official would tell you that the school system here is flexible enough to correct decisions later, if they read my post.
That’s true and wrong. The trouble is – that’s something I share in the next post – the second foreign language. You have to learn a certain number of years of two foreign languages (in most cases English and French) to be allowed to university. If you miss one year (!) – which would be the case if you attended Realschule instead of Gymnasium – it becomes very difficult to get the highest High School degree because you always lack this damned one year of French or Latin.
To be completely honest with you, we don’t know if it’s really the best for a child to attend Gymnasium and pass Abitur. If you think traditionally in a job or academic career, yes of course. If you think more entrepreneurially, it’s really questionable.
But we hope that we found the best school for both her math learning disorder and that caters to her strengths which is languages. They come easy to her, both her native language German and her first foreign language English. In 5th grade she will start learning French right away. We’ll see how that goes.
Thanks again for stopping by.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
I was so blinded by getting the best for your daughter I neglected to see the connection to the lesson at hand.
#1 Above. You need to know the rules so you can break them. I don’t mean illegally, we all know about the American Stock Market issues, I mean bend them to what you need without hurting others. What rules? If you own a business and you are taught the only way to get customers is through the business listings in the local newspaper, you throw that out, hit the streets and hand out coupons. Or you create a blog or FB page. Or you join local groups and get to know people. Do what you feel works for you and your business.
Just like your mission to help your daughter, do what is needed, bend the rules, to get her the best possible.
Have a great weekend.
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 25th, 2011 at 20:56
Hi Allie,
wow, thanks for your comment. I feel your emotions…
Rules are arbitrary in most cases and breaking or bending little consequential (unless we talk of LAWS).
Chances most people think and believe they are set in stone and breaking or bending them heavily consequential.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Twitter: janetcallaway
says:
Oliver, aloha. Again, my hat’s off to you and your mastermind family the way you have handled this challenge.
Yes, you research and educated yourselves, however, that is not what stands out in my mind as the reason for your success with Muriel’s teacher.
What you folks did, Oliver, is you gave her the reason she could say Yes to your request. You made it easy for her to do what you wanted. Masterfully done.
Congratulations to you and yours. Look forward to the next installment. Enjoy a fantastic weekend. Aloha. Janet
Janet recently posted..It’s a Storyteller’s Business by Janet Callaway The Natural Networker
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 15:17
Hi Janet,
thanks for your appreciative comment. It’s certainly the mastermind principle that we applied – and we included the teacher(s). We have never seen her main teacher as opponent who doesn’t want the best for our daughter. We simply had to harmonize our ideas of what is the best. Everybody has different notions about that, right )
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Twitter: marcus_baker
says:
Hi Oliver,
Most loving and responsible parents want what is best for their children and their future. I can tell that you and your wife fit this totally.
As long as you can say that you did all you could for her under the circumstances then what more can you do?
I think the same is true when it comes to anything, including business – did we do the best we could at the time?
It’s a very difficult question to answer because how does one measure it? Surely not based on whether the outcome is one we approve of.
If we can be sure that we really did do our best at the time then the outcome must be what it must be which means the best outcome for our further growth to occur.
This does not always mean we will like the outcome but it is still the best outcome and as such perfect for our continued expansion which is why we are here anyway.
~Marcus
Marcus Baker recently posted..Don’t be a Lone Wolf- Join This Pack
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 15:13
Hi Marcus,
the challenge for us parents is to discriminate between the child’s true needs and our own past programming and subconscious reflections of our own school career, lol.
Well you know how, we can let go the attachment to any kind of outcome if and when we have Faith in the process, even if this process takes place in a very imperfect system.
Thanks for your thoughtful and kind comment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Amazing story, Oliver! I think another entrepreneurial and life lesson here is that of persistence. It’s inspiring how your family persisted to find the best possible option for your daughter and persistence seems to be key in keeping the fire of the entrepreneurial spirit alive, even when things seem frustrating.
In a way, I identify because your situation reminds me of all the political hoops we have to jump through to get anything legal done here in Peru, but we keep on chugging along and eventually meet the right people and learn the shortcuts. =)
Looking forward to reading more!
Samantha Bangayan recently posted..A Global Community in the Desert
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 15:10
Hi Samantha,
thanks for your initial comment on my blog. Glad you are able to relate. I can see that it’s also about persistence, well spotted
Come back soon & take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Great post, Oliver! I really commend you for going the extra mile (another Napoleon HIll principle
) to make sure that your daughter gets the very best education possible. I think that this definitely teaches us about the importance of working diligently and never passively waiting for life to tell us what to do. It is a shame that the Univeristat door is closed for so many at an early age, but it is an inspiration to see that you are finding ways to keep it open so your daughter doesn’t get forced out of something because of what someone thought of her when she was ten years old.
Steve Nicholas recently posted..Think and Grow Rich “Organized Planning”
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 14:49
Hi Steve,
thanks for your comment. As I wrote in reply to Allie, if a school offical read that post, they would point out that the school system is flexible enough which is true to a certain extent. But it’s not the entire truth.
In Germany, to be able to pass Abitur and to be admitted to university, you have to learn two foreign languages for a certain period of time (in most cases English and French or Latin). If you missed one single year of this education in the second foreign language and had learned the entire other stuff apart from that, you couldn’t study at university.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Ya you should find multiple opportunities for your daughter. It is unfair that someone judges your daughter’s position or future. Who gives them the authority to do so. Of course, experts can make suggestions but not decisions.
Good luck.
Jane.
Jane | Find All Answers recently posted..How To Stop Yahoo! Answers From Hacking Your Productivity
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 14:43
Hi Jane,
I like that take: Expert are supposed to make suggestions, not decisions. However, in school, the self-proclaimed experts also make the decisions, if we let them.
Thanks for your excellent comment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver,
I’m still amazed that, even though her grades in all other areas were outstanding, they were penalizing Muriel because of a known disorder.
Thank God for the specialized institute you and your wife have found. Please keep us updated as to Muriel’s progress.
Talk soon,
Gregory
Gregory McGuire recently posted..Network Marketing Recruiting – Here’s How I Do It
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 14:41
Hi Gregory,
it’s always borderline whether it’s kind of penalizing or not. You know how, such “penalties” can sometimes be blessings in disguise. To become a successful business person, you don’t need the school smarts of Gymnasium. However, it seemed that she has more choices. We have to teach her money consciousness anyway.
Yeah, I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks for your comment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver,
It seemed you both had quite the challenge in finding the right solution for your daughter. But, the way it sounds you have stayed involved and an influence, taking the initiative, will bring her to success with the issue she is having. Great points made with building a mlm business too.
Joe
Joe Young recently posted..If Jesus Were A Blogger What Would He Say
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 14:38
Hi Joe,
thanks for your comment. Yes, we definitely stayed involved and tried to take influence on the decision-making people.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver!
I have been following this story of yours and I can really feel your dilemma. Anyway, I keep you in my thoughts that everything will be sorted out accordingly and with the best interests of your daughter in mind.
It’s also great for you to have managed weaving your personal experiences in searching for the best educational environment for your daughter in the MLM scenario as well. Sometimes, we should really be humble enough and ask for some expert advice or help before we make life-changing decisions.
Elmar Sandyck recently posted..How To Get The Attention Of Women
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 14:29
Hi Elmar,
thanks for your great comment and keeping us in our thoughts. The trouble is always that we base such decisions on what we know. But there’s also the unknown. The known unkown – what specific teacher does she get ? – and even more importantly, the unknown unknown. Some people want to determine the entire school career of their kids at the age of 10 by focusing what they knew from one evening and a lot of gossip: “We don’t choose this school because my child isn’t interested in natural sciences. If she doesn’t choose natural sciences at the age of 12 or 13, she has to choose a third foreign language. As we don’t want her to choose Latin, she has to choose Russian – and that’s way to difficult, you know, the cases. That’s why we choose the other school.” These are typical “affirmations” of parents we know…
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Oliver,
What a lesson you share with us all on a very non-traditional approach to an age old challenge.
Hat’s off to you for your diligence and your masterful application of the mastermind concept.
And, for bringing your family along on this evolutionary journey.
You are very blessed to be able to work through this process with such awareness.
Sending you well wishes–
Nanette
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 29th, 2011 at 17:03
Hi Nanette,
thanks for your comment. Your wonderful summary nails it perfectly. Makes me happy, thanks a lot.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Wow Oliver… Your daughters story presents a very poignant metaphor for the way we deal with problems within our businesses. To acknowledge the rules, but not allow them to define you.
It’s amazing that one teacher holds such power over a childs life – be it good, or bad. I’m so happy that you were able to navigate your way around the system to make it work for your daughters benefit. Whether you know it or not, you’ve changed her and you changed her life in a very big way.
I wish you continued success,
Dahlia
Dahlia Valentine recently posted..FREEDOM Using What You Know to Make Your Bank Account Grow
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 29th, 2011 at 17:02
Hi Dahlia,
do teachers have power over a child’s life ? Yes and no. At the end of the day, it’s all about attitude. If we show our kids alternatives to the classical rat race pattern of school-work-die, we can disempower even negative desicions of teachers. We show them these alternatives regardless of their school career anyway.
Thanks for your comment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver, you know I am so glad and pleased you were able to ride this out and come up with a solution.
There are many qualities you exercised during this. Patience, diplomacy, creativity, flexibility, and the willingness to go the extra mile to do what is the best for Muriel.
Whether you realize it or not, you were very skilled… walking the fine line of pleasing Muriel, convincing the teacher, and coming up with a solution that both you and your wife are also feeling some satisfaction and relief.
Good for you… I am so pleased to look outside the box and convinced the teacher to agree.
Great Job!
Jayne
Jayne recently posted..Self Worth and Success Are You in Sync
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 29th, 2011 at 17:00
Hi Jayne,
thanks for your beautiful comment. The qualities you mentioned were certainly necessary to get what we wanted. Now, in september, when the next term begins, the real challenge only starts
Now we have to fill the shoes, so to speak.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Twitter: MavisNong
says:
Hey Oliver,
Great to see how you have handled this challenge. Well done for doing what you did to make sure that your daughter gets the very best education possible.
Thanks for sharing the entrepreneurial lessons as well.
All the best,
Mavis
Mavis Nong recently posted..Traffic Generation Blogging Contest – Get the Inside Scoop!
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 29th, 2011 at 16:57
Hi Mavis,
thanks for your comment and your appreciation.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Hi Oliver
Congratulations on finding a solution. I find it amazing that so much emphasis is put on Maths in Germany. In Australia it would preclude certain University choices but not all.
The system sounds very complex and I agree with you making such sorting decisions at such a young age is insane.
Your posts on this subject reminds me why I hate bureaucracy. I am sure every country has it.
Thanks for sharing this Olivier
Sue
Sue Price recently posted..What is MLM – Part 6
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 29th, 2011 at 16:23
Hi Sue,
we have a general matura here in Germany.
Bottom line for all states is, that kids pass their exam at Gymnasium (Abitur, formerly known as matura) and this exam allows them to study any subject. That means, even if you want to study music or arts at university, you have to pass an exam in math.
The French baccalauréat for example isn’t a general matura as well but there the technical bac is the highest reputated.
To me, math is the most unimportant and over-estimated subjects in school – even though this is a declaration of war
I am not saying that it is completely unimportant but it’s definitely over-rated.
Thanks for valuable comment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Twitter: ilkaflood
says:
Hi Oliver,
I’m glad you were persistent in choosing what was best for your daughter. You and your wife are very loving parents and your daughter will thank you one day for not giving up.
Awesome! I wish you all the very best!
Ilka
Ilka Flood recently posted..Will Your Daily Habits Determine Your Success in Network Marketing
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 30th, 2011 at 15:13
Hi Ilka,
well you know how, it’s difficult to anticipate how she will view that in 10, 15 or 20 years. Regardless, it’s our desire to really choose the best for her, whatever that is.
Thanks for your wonderful comment.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
HI Oliver,
Wow, talk about a masterminding family! =) If there is one thing your daughter will learn from you, it’s never to take a “no” at face value! What a lucky girl to know that her parents always have her best interests at heart!
Delena
Delena Silverfox recently posted..123Print Coupon Code
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
March 30th, 2011 at 15:10
Hi Delena,
thanks for your appreciative comment. We truly applied the mastermind principle here together with the teacher, not against her.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
It’s nice to find teachers that know and are willing to deal with these kind of problems. Unfortunately i can’t say i know such a teacher in my town, so i guess you’re lucky.
The most important thing in overcoming these kind of diseases is putting hard work into it. I’m sure your daughter will be over to overcome it in time.
Maria Pavel recently posted..CNA Certification
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
April 14th, 2011 at 22:37
Hi Maria,
thanks for your comment. We are also confident that she will make it. It takes hard work, but not in the traditional sense. That’s what most teachers don’t get.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Oliver,
please let me share some thoughts and references.
First I think any dys-function in regard to school systems probably has its roots in the system itself, and are therewith merely academic. The history of Drapetomania is only one of many examples, and I only heard of it, because Brett Veinotte has made this the title of one of his episodes on his series ‘Kids are not defective’ .
This being said, an academic career might not be the best for your doughter’s education. But that totally depends on where she wants to go in life. Not to forget, often bad experiences are the fuel to higher achievement.
Second I’d like to commend an author to you. One of his earlier books is ‘What do I do Monday?’, where he gives great advice to teachers (and parents) not only on how to learn arithmetics without threatening the youth. You find the German title in my collection of valuable books (even if it is not available there, but your favorite library might have a copy of it; but there are even more good books on learning).
To your and your doughter’s success,
Andi Fischer
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 11:26
Hi Andi,
thanks for your comment. I think it’s too early to tell if Muriel should choose an academic career, that’s why we wanted all options. The “Realschule” is even more geared towards working for money, is it not ?
Thanks for stopping by and sharing the recommendations, appreciate that.
Take care
Oliver
[Reply]
Andi Fischer Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 13:07
You’re welcome, Oliver. Well, all money aside, secondary school (or “Realschule” if you want) is about working below others (meaning so called employers), whereby an academic career is about working over others (meaning students, but to a greater extent tax-payers). And since the best choices are always those done my oneself, both is worth the experience; for the sake of not living below one’s means after all. Everything else is just working for money!
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 14:16
Hi Andi,
thanks for expanding on this. Aren’t most university graduates working under others as well – or for other people ? They’re making other people rich like everybody else, even faster, because their education is leverage for the employer.
Take care
Oliver
Andi Fischer Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 15:23
Interesting, there’s no [Reply] button on your last answer in this thread-hierarchy.
Speaking of hierarchy, you’re absolutely right, probably most of the times, if you live over people, other people are living over you as well. That’s the nature of any hierarchy, don’t you think?
The first and foremost question, I think, is this: Is it a coercive, authoritarian hierarchy, or a voluntary hierarchy out of some kind of achieved apparent authority? The conspicuity of achievement thereby needs not to be apparent one to anybody for it to be a voluntary hierarchy, but it must be apparent for anybody involved in the particular hierarchy, to be a clear voluntary hierarchy. And then there are an abundant more kinds of hierarchies, that I would define as mixed hierarchies, as far as coercive or voluntary achievement is concerned.
And that’s where the rubber meets the road: Who adds value to the chain and who takes value from the chain of organized individuals. In the end every experience adds value for an individual, as long as this individual takes it as a lesson to step out of coerced and into voluntary chains, and not the other way around.
Thats, btw, what I loooovvee about our business of Network Marketing: Everybody is on his or her own road to achievement, in a chain of organized efforts. And when you share your knowledge with the right people, anybody gains value from it, without coercion, from top management up(!) to every individual customer.
Thank you Oliver, for this inspiring thread.
Oliver Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 16:07
You’re most welcome Andi
P.S.: I don’t know why there is no reply-button…really interesting…
Andi Fischer Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 13:11
Have I forgotten to give the urls or where they automatically edited?
Brett’s show on Drapetomania:
http://schoolsucks.podomatic.com/entry/2010-08-14T05_11_36-07_00
John Holt’s book about elementary learning:
http://astore.amazon.de/jestslice-21/detail/0867093684
[Reply]
Andi Fischer
Twitter: mentorandy
Reply:
February 2nd, 2012 at 06:37
Even elementary school is just the beginning for an academic care er. Who was I to believe it isn’t. Bless you Oliver.
I believe on you,
Andi
[Reply]
Oliver Reply:
February 2nd, 2012 at 09:17
Hi Andi,
thanks for your comment.
Be blessed
Oliver